Now that was Clean!

I know it been a while since I posted something on my blog here. Let's just say I had an extended vacation... Okay, they tell me I need to let others know my struggles, so here's what happened. As you know I vacationed in Hawaii two Christmases ago. I had a great time. I always do. But, this time, I had some trouble when I returned to the mainland.





My job is difficult. No one really wants to work under the conditions I encounter on a daily basis... Filthy children and their even filthier rooms-I could scream... But, that would put me back months... Deep breath... Okay... When I got back from Hawaii, I had a little, lets say...meltdown, and checked myself into a facility to get my head on straight. I couldn't take another day of wading through a sea of children filth without some help.





I spent a good 16 months there. I didn't have to worry about inspecting or cleaning up after anyone and when I was having really tough days they put me in the cleanest white room with the softest white walls... And, I had daily therapy sessions with some of the nicest lunatics you'd ever want to meet. So, I'm ready to get back to work. Thanks for sticking with me during these tough times. I really appreciate your support!





Now, I've been away for a while, but I still have a thing or two to say about keeping a room tidy.





So, here you go...



When you are trying to motivate the little ones to pick up their toys, make sure to threaten...I mean strongly suggest, that any toys left on the ground, after a specified period of time for them to be picked up voluntarily, will be donated to charities like Goodwill etc. and if that doesn't work I find that threatening, sorry, strongly suggesting, that the toys left on the floor will be incinerated works great to motivate our little friends.



Here's a rhyme to help them remember:



"Leave a toy on the floor and it will be burned for sure..."



Until next time...



Happy Cleaning!

Greetings from Hawaii!

Well, since I am in Hawaii for the holidays, I wanted to update you on what I've been doing.

I love Hawaii. It is one of my most favorite places. I just come to relax though. I don't want to mix business with pleasure. Plus, these native kids probably have some of the dirtiest rooms around with all the sand and surf wax everywhere.

Since I've been here, I have done some hula dancing as usual.

Here's a picture of me the other night...

I also like to get in some surfing while I am here. It sure beats Westport. Plus the waves on the North Shore are perfect this time of year.

Here's me getting tubular yesterday. I'm really not up on the lingo of the kids these days, I just like to rip it.

Well, I hope you all have had and continue to have a happy holiday season. I am scheduled to be back on January 5th. I will give you some more tips this coming year.

$anta'$ Watching!

Boy am I busy this time of year. With the Christmas Season here, parents are in full manipulation mode trying to motivate their kids to clean their rooms. So I make myself available to meet the holiday rush. Santa Claus is great for business!

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But, the long hours do cause me some stress. Some days I don't know how I do it. I'm working dawn 'til dusk drowning in a proverbial sea of filth. Boy are today's kids messy. And spoiled. Some kids have so many toys that there's no telling where they will show up. If I find another naked Barbie with the GI Joes I could scream...

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But, I'll be okay. As soon as Christmas rolls around I take a couple of weeks off to unwind. This year I'm going to Hawaii. The warm weather will be good for me.

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Its been a while since I gave you a tip. So, here goes...

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When your kids are cleaning their rooms, make sure to take a look under their beds. You never know what you find under there especially abnormally dirty clothes. Since this is a G rated blog, I won't go into details.

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Here's a rhyme to help you with the little ones:

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"Under the bed is not for dirty clothes, but for evil trolls!"

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That ought to get them right to it!

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'Til next time...

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Happy Cleaning!

Has is really been that long?

Well, my apologies again. I just realized that it's been over a month since my last intranet post. I have been busy though. This blogging is really difficult to keep up with. Especially when it feels like you are wading through seas of children filth all day.

If it wasn't providing me with a handsome income, I would never get within 10 feet of a child again. They're disgusting!

Some sure are cute, but oftentimes those are the ones that leave the biggest messes. Better to avoid them all if you can. Oh boy! Listen to me, I'm venting again!

Well, its been a while since I gave you a tip. So, here goes...

When your children are cleaning their rooms make sure they pay attention to the shelves. Leaving a cluttered mess on your shelves can really take away the joy of an otherwise clean room.

Here's a rhyme to help you motivate your little ones:

"Leave clutter on your shelves and it will be stolen by the evil elves"

I always find that adding an element of fear really helps motivate. And there are only a few noticeable side effects.

Happy Cleaning!

My Apologies!

Well, as you know, I'm still new at this intranet blogging. I've been under the weather of late and just trying to get through my room inspections during the day. You wouldn't believe the filth I've seen this week.


Take this one for example:

I'm not sure what the kids were doing here...

This is what I call a clean room:

Now don't those children look happy?

Well, I will do my best to continue to provide you with tips for your cleaning and helping your children keep their rooms clean. I think a Tip of the Week would be easier for me to handle since I am waste deep in children filth all day. Did I say that outloud? Oh boy, don't let you little ones hear that.

Happy Cleaning!

Tip of the Day No. 2!

Well, its time for the Tip of the Day!



So, here you go...



Tip No. 2



When cleaning your room don't forget to include the closet! I've found everthing from toys to frogs to books to dirty underpants in them. Yuck.



Here's a rhyme to help you remember...



"Make sure to open the closet door to finish your chore!"



Make sure to check back Monday for more tips!



Happy Cleaning!

Tip of Day No. 1!

Since I started on the "Intranet" I have come up with a miriad of ideas as to how to impart my knowledge to the youth.

What a better way to do that but to have a Tip of the Day!

So, here you go...

Tip No. 1

When cleaning your room before Deloris makes her inspection, remember that I do look under your beds as well. Heaven only knows the filth I find under there sometimes. As a matter of fact, some of it is so PG I can't even mention it.

As you will see, I will give you a helpful rhyme to remember each day's tip.

Here's today's: Clean under your bed or you could be dead!

Boy, I hope that's not too PG... Buy who knows what today's parents are liable to do.

Make sure to check back tommorow.

Happy Cleaning!